Ruby in the Sky

I have a certain (set of) images in my head of what a beautiful life/person/version of me looks like. A lot of the time, these images, the aesthetic that I’m going for, inform my actions. Every so often, an instagrammer shares a post announcing they will be taking time off social media: a social media detox. It seems to be implied everywhere that social media are doing more harm than good in our lives. Which begs the question: is it bad to be attached to an aesthetic image of yourself?

What ‘being attached to the aesthetic’ really means for myself, is creating this idea of what ‘good’ is for me, and what kinds of things I should strive to be or do. The danger of this is striving for something that is unattainable – if the image in your head is not somehow rooted in reality, you might very well die trying. Even if your goal is technically physically reachable, there is the problem that the goalpost has a tendency to move the moment you reach it, or just get close.

Another downfall can be comparison. Of course, looking at where you are now versus where you are now is fine and can be helpful. But it’s easy to forget that no one but you can ever be a fair comparison. You can’t be somebody else, so don’t expect to reach their goals rather than your own. Lastly, it can be hard to stay grateful for what you already have and have achieved so far. By trying to be or do more, we might end up with less.

On the positive side, an image to strive for can be an amazing motivator for positive change in you life. For example, when adopting habits: maybe your ideal image is a romantic who spends their train rides reading or staring out the window daydreaming. Wanting to actualize this, you start bringing books with you wherever you go. Maybe at first, you’re doing it because of the way you imagine you’ll look – but if you stick with it long enough, you might unconsciously cultivate an actual reading habit. Success!

The same goes for places. Maybe you let yourself get inspired for a travel destination on Instagram, or you choose a café to go for lunch based on how instagramable their plates are – you still might end up in an amazing place that you otherwise wouldn’t have known about!

Setting goals (that are reachable) can also be a way to make it easier to appreciate yourself. As shallow as it might sound to some, sometimes being closer to your idea of beauty or goodness can be a huge help in self-love and appreciation. That is, if you can take that moment in the present to see how far you’ve come, even if you’re not ‘there’ yet.

All in all, these aesthetic goals we set can be used to build us up or break us down: it is all about using it sparingly and consciously, in my opinion. As long as you continue to be aware of what is informing your actions, present with the way these things make you feel and willing to change your mind, there is no harm in a little aesthetic inspiration.

What do you think about this? Do you let ‘the aesthetic’ lead you sometimes? Do you think it helps or harms you?

I would love to know!

Love, Ruby