Ruby in the Sky

I’m currently on holiday, and my appearance is at an all time low, on the bottom of my list of priorities. My hair is pink and slightly hard to handle, I’m not wearing any make-up, and I packed for better weather, meaning every time I do have to wear long pants, I’m walking around in printed sports’ leggings. All of this doesn’t help my looks, yet I feel quite alright. Which is funny, because I’m not usually “the confident kind”.

It’s interesting to see how, by trying to write a feeling down, you can actually pinpoint it that much better – at least, that’s how it works for me. I started writing this article, and I didn’t know where I was going with it. I had a certain feeling, and I was trying to put it into words, but it just wouldn’t be caught. Give the words and thoughts 24 hours to brew, and you start to realise things you didn’t think of before. In this case, I started thinking about the meaning of confidence in different situations: when you’re confident about an answer, you are sure you got it right. When models confidently walk the runway, they walk like they are 100% certain they won’t trip in those sky-high heels (which I’m sure they are very scared about deep inside). Confidence doesn’t necessarily mean thinking yourself beautiful, it means knowing your truth. If you know what your opinion is on something, you don’t need to get reassurance from others.

What I’ve come to realize is, a lack of confidence stems from doubt. If you don’t know what your own vision on something is, you are very susceptible to what other people think – or rather, what you imagine other people might think. Therefore, the key to being confident, is knowing what and who you are, according to yourself. A prime example of this would be Fat Amy from the movie Pitch Perfect. She literally states in the way she calls herself that she is fat – and no one else can possibly feel a need to tell her that. This being ahead of the crowds is, although in this case a bit far-fetched, a good tool to eliminate the influence of others on your confidence. All there’s left is for you to be comfortable with yourself – which should be much easier, now that no one else can make you feel uncomfortable.

The easiest example for me to take here is myself. After I dyed my hair pink, I wasn’t really sure what I thought of it myself. When the first reaction I got was a negative one from my parents, I felt awful. I even briefly considered re-dying it immediately. Half an hour later, one of my best friends arrived, and she did like it. So did her mother, and my other friends, and their families (as far as I know). Now I had both sides. After that, I had a day to myself, and some time to get used to my new reflection. As I did, I was able to form my own opinion, and I decided I liked it. After that, I haven’t really felt doubtful about it anymore. Now, not even a month later, I wear my hair like a token of my fearlessness.

Moral of the story – before I try to explain it better in another 4 paragraphs: know yourself. Know what your good qualities are, both inside and out, and know the areas you don’t excel in are. Accept these things for what they are, except for when you can actually do something about them. If your eyes are grey-blue instead of sparkling green, accept it; if you push people away because you are intentionally mean to them, change your attitude. As of now it seems to be as easy as that, and I can walk around happily with my face a mess and a completely inappropriate outfit. I hope it will last.

Where do you get your confidence from?

Love, Ruby